Last week I had the opportunity to see two friends from college – one I haven’t seen since I became sober and one I hadn’t seen since I joined my recovery program. One of the first comments they both made to me was how good I looked (they meant in a happiness day, not in an attractiveness way).
These were the first two people I have seen from my past (the period before my drinking spiraled) since getting sober and I was nervous. I wasn’t sure if I would connect with them the same way or if the parts of us that got along were still there. I didn’t need to worry, it was like no time had passed.
The qualities about me that had led to our friendships developing over the years remained, which was something I had been concerned that was just a result of my drinking. Over the past 18 months, finding myself is something I have been struggling with. I have been afraid that all the things that make me who I am were a result of my alcoholism. However, I’ve started to see this is not true, the things that make me great are still there- they were just masked by the alcoholism.
I also had the opportunity to make amends to one of my friends this weekend. For those of you who are not familiar, an amends is owning the harm you have caused in the past and working to repair any damage you have done. This was an incredibly healing experience for me and I think it will make my friends stronger.