Lately I’ve been in a bad head space and felt disconnected spiritually. While this might not be concern for alarm for most people, for a recovering alcoholic this is usually a red flag that they aren’t working their recovery program in the best way.
As I reflected upon this feeling, I began to realize that I wasn’t working my program the best way I could and I wasn’t putting my sobriety first. For me, my sobriety has to come above all other things in my life. If I’m not sober, I will end up losing everything I’ve come to love and be grateful for.
During this process, I had to look at my life and answer the question – what am I putting on the same level or above my sobriety and recovery? I realized that I was putting most things on the same level- work, extra curricular activities, volunteering, etc. This forced me to make some hard decisions – could I do all these things and still keep my sobriety first? After praying and connecting with my Higher Power, I realized I could not. I would have to pull back in some way right now.
As I made this tough decision, I realized that something had changed with me. In the past, I would have been worried about not pleasing everyone and telling people no. This time, it wasn’t the case – I’ve made those tough decisions and spoke with those who need to know. And I’ve done it without immense feelings of guilt, which leads me to believe I’ve made the right decision and will be able to keep my sobriety & recovery the most important things in my life.